Life is indeed a choice we all have – no matter how much we blame it on the fate; we always end up with what we want. It’s the desire that chooses the finite options among the infinite options available – the reason; to be where we want to see ourselves.
Sometimes we are not sure. As the radio is playing a survival-instinct filled “Scars to your beautiful” by Alessia Cara, I feel helpless. I have no idea what options I’m choosing and what destination they will land me into.
The intertwined and complicated relationship that we have with our family, kins and loved ones – although important things; do make things worse when things aren’t going our way. The very same forces that add positive energy starts corroding our souls when we haven’t still figured out what we want from life.
Sometimes when I’m lonely, I keep truce cuddling my dog or my pillow. Then I let go, because I don’t like getting attached.
I have trust issues – who hasn’t?
I have doubts about the decisions I have already taken. Aren’t I lucky that I have doubts instead of regrets?? I can still change. The guilt of what I did does not rot me, the guilt of what I can’t do anymore does.
Am I selfish? Tell me who is more important for you? The world is full of 7.5 Billion People – and 7.5 billion souls ache for their own selfish 7.5 billion motives. Don’t you care what you want?
I want to help, contribute, and bring positivity to the society….. I do…
But first, I want to be happy and free for myself.
My life is my choice, and who except me would decide better?
Even if I decide bad, at least I would have had the freedom of choice. If it does not work out, I will be guilty. If it does, I will be happy that it did. If it works out for a while and it does not afterwards, I will write another blog.
I’ve done my mistakes. I’ve compromised. Not anymore…